in many ways, my mind is like this picture of a used book store. thoughts are scattered about, misplaced, re-shelved incorrectly. memories that i am searching for, i cannot find because others are in the way. i cannot wade through them to get to the sunny spot in the back of the library. as i make my way, things are falling on top of me, piling up, until i cannot go any further. i am once again overwhelmed. i could not complete the task at hand.

this image also resembles my house. i am too exhausted to ever put forth the effort to tidy up. it takes every ounce of my energy reserves to make it through the day, often times while reflecting, i wonder how i was able to accomplish the day's demands at all. sometimes, i wish that my husband would do the preliminary cleaning, and i would go behind him, making things perfect. it would be a lot easier on us both, if i were afforded the ability to avoid the excess stress. i often begin, but not long after, i give up, not willing to see the task through. the fruits of my labors are wasted. once again, i plop my fatass back on my throne. the day is done, and that is perfectly good enough for me.