it is nights like these when i am the loneliest. my husband is at work and i am here by myself, with the dog. don't get me wrong, canines are great companions, but i can't have a conversation with her. i find myself the most depressed sunday evening. with monday looming over my head, and no one to talk to, i start to brood and let my moods get the better of me.

when this happens, i try to immerse myself in a good book or television show, but my mind always goes back to how alone i am. i can't call my parents because i don't exactly have a great relationship with them (mainly my mom). and friends lead their own lives, go in separate directions, and are often unavailable. i feel like everyone around me is living such a fast pace life, that they can't make time for others, and just listen. or maybe my boring life isn't fast enough to keep up? sometimes i think that i am stuck in limbo and that i will wake up from this dream someday. will that day ever come? 

i know i have to make a choice about whether or not i will be depressed. sometimes that choice is rather easy, and a lot of times it is not. depression itself is not a choice, but i can choose my thoughts. i can let dark thoughts fester, or i can redirect my mind elsewhere.