i am so tired of being tired. i am in a constant state of exhaustion. when i wake up in the morning, i think to myself, only x amount of hours until i can lay back down. my bed is my safe haven, my sanctuary. if it isn't my bed, it's my couch that i collapse into. my life isn't particularly fast paced (as i have stated before), so i do not know what is causing my lack of energy. maybe it's the extreme southern heat that is getting to me? in the fall/winter i do tend to be friskier.

or maybe it's the depression? i have stopped taking my medication, to see if there's a noticeable difference. i probably shouldn't have done that without a doctor's supervision. but i have been trying to look into more holistic and natural depression remedies. i do not like the idea of further funding the pharmaceutical companies, or not knowing what chemicals i am putting into my body. i once heard an older man say, "i believe that there is a cure for everything in nature, but we just haven't found it yet". maybe they have, but big pharma doesn't want to lose their profits?

i do not want to rely on caffeine (i limit my consumption to one caffeinated beverage per week), nor do i want to be on medication for the rest of my life, so i will be researching natural ways to rid myself of depression once and for all.