i have a problem communicating. recently, this fault of mine has caused some problems in our marriage. i made it extremely difficult for my husband to come to me and verbalize his concerns.

coming from a home where we simply didn't discuss emotions, nor were they shown, i have to overcome these obstacles. my mother rarely hugged me or told me she loved me. my dad wasn't much more affectionate. i find it so strange for someone to embrace me (especially if i barely know this person), and i almost want to pull away because it feels so unnatural. one needs to be reminded that they are loved frequently. even as i end a phone call with my mother, she says, "i love you" almost mechanically, like it's the polite thing to do. 

communication is a vital tool for making a marriage go the distance. you cannot get angry with your partner if they don't understand why you're upset, especially if you just expect them to read your mind. and the silent treatment is never the answer. if anything, your parent will be glad you shut up for once. giving them the cold shoulder only widens the divide between the two of you.

i have learned that i need to calmly express my emotions without attacking my husband. i need to use more phrases like, "i feel that..." instead of "you need to...". in the heat of an argument, it is very difficult to remember to practice such techniques, but learning to do so is part of becoming an adult and the second half of a successful marriage.